Restless

Last month I made my first iMovie as part of an assignment for my Ecological Thought class.  (Watch it here).  The assignment was to "make a visual essay about sense of place", so that's what I did.  It's about rivers, and more specifically my connection to them, particularly the rivers of East Middlebury and Ripton, VT.

Well the other day I was able to sneak over to the new family swimming hole all by my lonesome. (!!!) I managed to wedge myself against a flat rock, and sit, half submerged, letting the water flow over me.  And I did some thinking. (Imagine that!)  And I think I figured it out, a little bit.

I am a person constantly in motion.  If it's not my body, it's my brain (or my mouth, or all three, and not necessarily in a coordinated fashion).  I don't do well sitting still, and listening isn't always active enough for me.  I do better in workshops or activities, rather than lectures.  I can't sit through a movie very often, and maybe the reason I leave so many messes in my wake is so that I have something to putter around and clean up.  And I've recently discovered that I can focus on computer work better if I'm stationed at a 'walking desk' (treadmill with desk platform).  I have way more going on in my life that should be humanly possible (or sane), but I like it that way.  I just can't sit still.

Perhaps this is why meditation has always been so tricky for me- both body AND mind have to be quiet. No way.

But sitting in the river the other day, I Realized Something.  As I sat there with the water flowing over me, I felt at peace.  I could just sit there, and I could almost empty my mind (if it wasn't for thinking about how empty my mind could be!)  It was the water that was moving, but it was enough to make me feel right.  I felt as if I could sit there for hours...well, maybe not that long, but for at least 5 minutes.

Perhaps I should recreate this experiment while floating in a lake.  I think it was the current, but maybe it was the water...